It’s no secret that by the time you’ve gotten married, you’ve already been through the ‘honeymoon phase’ of dating. It’s different for every relationship – maybe it’s they way he cracks his knuckles or her never-ending pile of clothes on the floor – but at some point, things may stop feeling like a fairytale. And guess what? That’s okay.
If you make it down the aisle after the stress and chaos of planning a wedding, you deserve to run away together and hide for a few weeks and enjoy what it’s like to be a married couple, and you may find yourself slipping back into that lovey-dovey-why-do-we-ever-fight mentality. Unfortunately, to many people’s dismay, reality is just as strange when you come back as when you left it. Here are some tricks for internalizing the glow of your honeymoon, and letting it carry on into your newly-wed life.
Things Will Change, Accept it
One of the most common issues couples have when they settle into a routine is one or both partners getting nostalgic of the way the relationship began. As Shelly Bullard beautifully states “relationships are dynamic – they’re alive! They breath, transform, dance.” There will be times when you may feel like you’re right back on that beach in Cabo, and times when you may want to put their head into a shredder. The important thing is to remember that your relationship will change. Some days you will fight, and the important thing is to learn how to do so without letting it ruin your entire day. Denying the reality of your relationship and reminiscing on what used to be will only stall the maturity of your changing relationship.
Go On Adventures
Easier said than done, I know. Where do you want to travel next? What do you need to do to make it happen? Couples that work together to manifest a shared dream keep their perspective focused optimism, and have something to look forward to. If travelling isn’t in your plans now, then it can be something as small as going for a hike in a new place or trying out a foreign movie theatre. Try things you don’t normally do, and try them together!
…each other, I mean. Now I can get wrapped up in my onesie with a pizza as much as any other girl, but every once and a while it’s important to dress up a little for each other. Jealousy can form in relationships if it seems like one partner doesn’t care how they look around the other, but does in other situations. Put on a sexy dress, a few wisps of mascara, suggest a place to eat dinner and go on a date. A real date. That means put your phone in your purse, look each other in the eyes and have a conversation. These little treat-nights are the best thing to come back to if your relationship is feeling a little distant. If going out isn’t your thing then set-up a picnic that ends with a romantic massage and your partner’s favourite movie. There’s nothing quite like a little wine and a back-rub to stay close.
Accept Your Independence, And Enjoy it
Co-dependency is a way to ensure you end up in a seriously unhealthy relationship. Even though your honeymoon may seem further away all the time, remember that it’s never fully left. When you go through periods where you are your spouse are both busy in your own zones, do little things to connect, but don’t feel bad if it’s not easy all the time. Use more distant periods to do the things you love to do alone and remember to prioritize your marriage, even though you have the rest of your life to do so.